Well, it's that time again. Time for poor suckers like me to get our hopes up, only to have them crushed by the soul-taking misery that is being a Chicago Bears fan. There's so much pain and evil in the world. Let's start with the coaching staff.
COACHING STAFF: The big news here is that Terry Shea is out after one season as the Bears offensive coordinator. Most of the blame for the Bears shitty offense has to lay with all the injuries and the absolutely horrible offensvie line, but when you can't expect to keep your coaching job in the NFL when your team does that bad. His replacement is a familiar one, in Ron Turner, who did a pretty good job with the Bears a few years back, before the dreadful John Shoop era set the Bears back twenty years. He uses more of a power running scheme that relies less on a dink-and-dunk West Coast Offense, and actually stretches the field a little. It worked wonders particularly in 1995, when Rashaan Salaam was the NFL rookie of the year, Jeff Graham and Curtis Conway were the first Bears to top the 1,000 yard recieving mark in a few decades, and Erik Kramer had the best season a Bears QB has ever had. Needless to say, I'm happy about this move.
QUARTERBACKS: Well, this is going to be another adventure this year. After missing damn near all of 2004, Rex Grossman was poised to fulfill his promise as the team's franchise quarterback in 2005. So that obviously means he's going to miss the first twelve games of 2005. Needless to say, the honeymoon's over, and if Kyle Orton is even the least bit competent this year, Grossman may be looking for a job next season. After Chad Hutchinson had such a shitty preseason that he went from starter to free-agent, fourth-round draft pick Kyle Orton gets thrown to the wolves in his rookie season. A lot of people have been saying he was the steal of the draft even before Grossman went down, but I don't have high hopes for this year. Orton comes from a gimmicky shotgun offense in college, so he's still having to get used to taking snaps from center, and he's probably going to get sacked a lot this year, if 2004 was any indicator. Best case scenario has him becoming this year's Ben Roethlisberger, but the worst case scenario has him getting sacked into an early grave, risking serious injury and possbily shattering his confidence and ruining his career. Fun. Second-stringer Jeff Blake is a veteran who would probably be a better choice as the starter, but he doesn't know the system yet, and the third guy, Kurt Kittner, is just lucky to have a job. This could be a looooong year.
RUNNING BACKS: This is one of the strongest areas on the offense. Thomas Jones was having a really nice season last year, before opposing defenses figured out that they didn't have to defend against the pass, which led to his yearly injury. Jones isn't the most durable guy in the world, but he should stay healthy long enough for Cedric Benson to shake off the cobwebs from his ridiculously long holdout and take over the starting job. Benson is a power runner that supposedly fits Ron Turner's system better than Jones, which basically makes him Anthony Thomas, but a few years younger. Being a high Bears draft pick brings with it a high possibility of becoming an absolute bust, but he should be fine. The last time the Bears picked a running back as the fourth overall pick, it was 1975, and that worked out okay for them. The third stringer is Adrian Peterson, who had a pretty good preseason. At fullback Marc Edwards is the starter, and he's on the downside of his career, but he can still block and catch fairly well. Marc Edwards should take over as the starter whenever he gets over whatever's wrong with him right now.
RECIEVERS: The big news here is the exit of former first round bust David "I'm-a bring what I always bring - touchdowns" Terrell and the entrance of former Panthers All-Pro Muhsin Muhammad. Muhammad's in his ninth year, but he's coming off his best season as a pro, where he led the league in recieving yards, so there's nothing but good news there. The other starter is Justin Gage, who really isn't very good. Rookie Mark Bradley should be the starter by the end of the year, after showing flashes of greatness in the preseason. Behind those guys, Bobby Wade, Bernard Berrian, and Carl Ford are all adequate, at best. Muhammad is an all-star and Bradley may be one someday, but there's not much to speak of after those two. At tight end, you have Desmond Clark, who did really well for the Broncos a few years back, but didn't do much at all last year for the Bears. After him, there's John Gilmore and Gabe Reid, neither of whom is much to write home about.
OFFENSIVE LINE: This was the Bears' biggest weakness last year, after looking like one of the best lines in the league on paper before the season started. The big changes here are the exit of former Pro Bowl alternate Rex Tucker, who was the drizzling shits after a series of like a thousand injuries, and the signings of Fred Miller, who was an average tackle for the Titans, and Roberto Garza, who was the drizzling shits for Atlanta last year. The good news is that Olin Kreutz is considered by some to be the best center in the NFL, left guard Ruben Brown being a shadow of his former self is still better than most offensive linemen in the league, and John Tait is moving back to his natural position of left tackle, following a season where he got paid a ton of money to come over from the Chiefs and pretty much suck. The bad news is that right guard Terrence Metcalf and right tackle Fred Miller are average at best, and backup Qasim Mitchell was given a contract extension after being quite possibly the worst lineman in the NFL last year and allowing ten sacks. Backup tackle Marc Columbo is the feelgood story of the team, coming back from what was thought to be career-ending knee injuries to be a pretty valuable backup and possible future starter if he keeps improving. Overall, the line should be fairly improved, but after last year, begin absolutely horrible would still be an improvement. If Orton and Muhammad play well, things could be okay here, but if defenses can just disregard the pass and stack eight men on the line like they did last year, expect a lot of sacks and crippled quarterbacks.
DEFENSIVE LINE: Ah, now, we're getting into the parts of the team that don't depress me. If the preseason is any indicator, former Dolphin Pro Bowl defensive end Adewale Ogunleye is healthy and should be a monster this year, which means he'll be getting double teamed, freeing up the rest of the line. On the other side, Alex Brown showed signs of being a monster his damn self at times, and Michael Haynes was a first-round bust, but is an adequate backup. The other backup end is
Israel Idonije, and I don't know how to prounounce his name. At the tackle position, Tommie Harris played well enough to get a small bit of rookie of the year consideration, and Ian Scott was probably the most pleasant surprise of the year. As for the other two tackles in the rotation, Alphonso Boone was the original starter last year before being usurped by Ian Scott, and some expect Tank Johnson to take the job from Scott this year. I will now go on record as saying the Chicago Bears may very well have the best defensive line in all of professional football.
LINEBACKERS: Superstar Brian Urlacher missed a lot of games with assorted injuries last year, but he's healthy now, and even when playing hurt last year, he was possibly having the best year of his career. If he avoid injury, I fully expect him to be an All Pro, continue to be the one player opposing offenses are scared to death of, and make the magazines keep talking about how overrated he is. Weak side linebacker Lance Briggs stepped up big-time last year, leading the team with over 160 tackles and being voted as a first-alternate to the Pro Bowl. The other starter, Hunter Hillenmeyer, filled in nicely as Urlacher's backup last year, but isn't anything for other teams to be afraid of. The Bears were expected to go after another linebacker via free agency, but it didn't happen. Oh well. The backups are Leon Joe, Joe Odom, and
Brendon Ayanbadejo, who I know nothing about. Yeah.
DEFENSIVE BACKS: Cornerback is a particularly strong position for the Bears with Charles Tillman healthy, Jerry Azumah coming off his best year as a defender, and Nathan Vasher coming off a rookie season where he led the team with five interceptions. Tillman is a legit shutdown corner with All Pro potential, and Azumah and Vasher are both Pro Bowl caliber when they play at their best. Behind those three, there's not much depth, but the Bears still have the luxury of having more potential stars than actual starters. R.W. McQuarters isn't on the team anymore, but he was painfully overrated, and while he made a few big plays, he got burned an awful lot. At safety, Mike Brown and Mike Green return and switch places, with Green becoming the free safety and Brown going back to strong safety, which was where he played in the magical 13-3 season a few years back when he single-handedly won a couple of those games and was an All Pro selection. Todd Johnson is a face-smashing hitter who played well when Brown went down last year, but with Cameron Worrell gone for the year with an injury and Bobby Grey getting released after also getting hurt, there's not much depth at the safety position.
SPECIAL TEAMS: The loss of R.W. McQuarters would suck for the kick-returning game on most teams, but the Bears seem to have a thousand guys who can return kicks, so it's all good. Speedy Bernard Berrian is the punt returner and Jerry Azumah, who was the Pro Bowl kick returner a few years back, will return kicks. Rookie Mark Bradley will probably see action returning kicks, too, as he was pretty deadly at it in college. At kicker, the Jets' loss is the Bears game, as Doug Brien replaces the ridiculously disappointing Paul Edinger. Briend did miss a couple easy ones to put his team out of the playoffs last year, but disregarding those, he's one of the best in the league. Punter Brad Maynard was considered by many to be the Bears' most valuable player by some, which is a testament to how bad they were, but nonetheless, he's also one of the best there is. No worries here.
OVERALL: The Bears have one of the best defenses in the league, and if they send seven starters to the Pro Bowl from that side of the ball, it seriously won't surprise me. On the other hand, unless Kyle Orton really is the steal of the draft and the line actually decides to start blocking, the offense could continue to be fucking dreadful. Also, the Bears seem to pile up injuries faster than any other team, and there isn't much depth on the team, outside of the defensive line. Barring injuries, this could be a very dangerous potential playoff team, but if the injury bug bites again, this will be a very, very long year. Being a pessimist, I have to go with the latter. I hate my life.
KEY ADDITIONS:
Muhsin Muhammad, WR
Cedric Benson, RB
Mark Bradley, WR/KR
Fred Miller, OT
Doug Brien, K
KEY LOSSES:
Chad Hutchinson, QB
Anthony Thomas, RB
David Terrell, WR
Rex Tucker, G
Paul Edinger, K
R.W. McQuarters, CB/S/KR
Bobby Gray, S
QUARTERBACKS: Well, this is going to be another adventure this year. After missing damn near all of 2004, Rex Grossman was poised to fulfill his promise as the team's franchise quarterback in 2005. So that obviously means he's going to miss the first twelve games of 2005. Needless to say, the honeymoon's over, and if Kyle Orton is even the least bit competent this year, Grossman may be looking for a job next season. After Chad Hutchinson had such a shitty preseason that he went from starter to free-agent, fourth-round draft pick Kyle Orton gets thrown to the wolves in his rookie season. A lot of people have been saying he was the steal of the draft even before Grossman went down, but I don't have high hopes for this year. Orton comes from a gimmicky shotgun offense in college, so he's still having to get used to taking snaps from center, and he's probably going to get sacked a lot this year, if 2004 was any indicator. Best case scenario has him becoming this year's Ben Roethlisberger, but the worst case scenario has him getting sacked into an early grave, risking serious injury and possbily shattering his confidence and ruining his career. Fun. Second-stringer Jeff Blake is a veteran who would probably be a better choice as the starter, but he doesn't know the system yet, and the third guy, Kurt Kittner, is just lucky to have a job. This could be a looooong year. 
RUNNING BACKS: This is one of the strongest areas on the offense. Thomas Jones was having a really nice season last year, before opposing defenses figured out that they didn't have to defend against the pass, which led to his yearly injury. Jones isn't the most durable guy in the world, but he should stay healthy long enough for Cedric Benson to shake off the cobwebs from his ridiculously long holdout and take over the starting job. Benson is a power runner that supposedly fits Ron Turner's system better than Jones, which basically makes him Anthony Thomas, but a few years younger. Being a high Bears draft pick brings with it a high possibility of becoming an absolute bust, but he should be fine. The last time the Bears picked a running back as the fourth overall pick, it was 1975, and that worked out okay for them. The third stringer is Adrian Peterson, who had a pretty good preseason. At fullback Marc Edwards is the starter, and he's on the downside of his career, but he can still block and catch fairly well. Marc Edwards should take over as the starter whenever he gets over whatever's wrong with him right now. 
Muhammad. Muhammad's in his ninth year, but he's coming off his best season as a pro, where he led the league in recieving yards, so there's nothing but good news there. The other starter is Justin Gage, who really isn't very good. Rookie Mark Bradley should be the starter by the end of the year, after showing flashes of greatness in the preseason. Behind those guys, Bobby Wade, Bernard Berrian, and Carl Ford are all adequate, at best. Muhammad is an all-star and Bradley may be one someday, but there's not much to speak of after those two. At tight end, you have Desmond Clark, who did really well for the Broncos a few years back, but didn't do much at all last year for the Bears. After him, there's John Gilmore and Gabe Reid, neither of whom is much to write home about.
natural position of left tackle, following a season where he got paid a ton of money to come over from the Chiefs and pretty much suck. The bad news is that right guard Terrence Metcalf and right tackle Fred Miller are average at best, and backup Qasim Mitchell was given a contract extension after being quite possibly the worst lineman in the NFL last year and allowing ten sacks. Backup tackle Marc Columbo is the feelgood story of the team, coming back from what was thought to be career-ending knee injuries to be a pretty valuable backup and possible future starter if he keeps improving. Overall, the line should be fairly improved, but after last year, begin absolutely horrible would still be an improvement. If Orton and Muhammad play well, things could be okay here, but if defenses can just disregard the pass and stack eight men on the line like they did last year, expect a lot of sacks and crippled quarterbacks.
and I don't know how to prounounce his name. At the tackle position, Tommie Harris played well enough to get a small bit of rookie of the year consideration, and Ian Scott was probably the most pleasant surprise of the year. As for the other two tackles in the rotation, Alphonso Boone was the original starter last year before being usurped by Ian Scott, and some expect Tank Johnson to take the job from Scott this year. I will now go on record as saying the Chicago Bears may very well have the best defensive line in all of professional football. 
know nothing about. Yeah. 
SPECIAL TEAMS: The loss of R.W. McQuarters would suck for the kick-returning game on most teams, but the Bears seem to have a thousand guys who can return kicks, so it's all good. Speedy Bernard Berrian is the punt returner and Jerry Azumah, who was the Pro Bowl kick returner a few years back, will return kicks. Rookie Mark Bradley will probably see action returning kicks, too, as he was pretty deadly at it in college. At kicker, the Jets' loss is the Bears game, as Doug Brien replaces the ridiculously disappointing Paul Edinger. Briend did miss a couple easy ones to put his team out of the playoffs last year, but disregarding those, he's one of the best in the league. Punter Brad Maynard was considered by many to be the Bears' most valuable player by some, which is a testament to how bad they were, but nonetheless, he's also one of the best there is. No worries here.
KEY ADDITIONS: