May 28, 2000: The Worst Television Show... Ever.

Tonight, I couldn't sleep, so I was forced to watch the most dreaded thing to a bored person - Late night television. I found myself watching MTV (and yes, I AM ashamed of it...), and then, the show Undressed came on. From the title and partial nudity filled commercials, I knew it would be a lame T&A show. And I guess it succeeds in that area. Most of the cast seems to be out of work models, most of whom sporting large breasts under tight shirts, which I guess is pretty cool for late-night wank-off programming. But even such horrible "only good for masturbation" shows like V.I.P. will at least TRY to be entertaining and have some discernable plot in each episode, with the tits and ass thrown in on top of it as an added bonus. The basic plot of an Undressed episode: So-and-so is having sex with so-and-so, who wants to have sex with so-and-so, but so-and-so thinks so-and-so is having sex with... Well, you get the picture. Not a single element of the story has anything to do with anything but sexual intercourse, in various forms. And the acting... Good god, man. Even the most notorious T&A television spectacle, Baywatch, often had acceptable, and sometimes fairly decent acting (I still say Yasmine Bleeth is a real actress). But this show... It just stinks of people who weren't good enough to be extras in the seventh grade class play. With most of these "actors," every word is prounounced with absolute "I hope I don't screw up" precision, where ev-er-y sin-gle syl-lab-le is pro-nounced per-fect-ly and sometimes, contractions are a rare part of the vocabulary. It makes porn stars and Japanese dubbed samurai movie voiceover actors look like Laurence Fucking Olivier. I'm sorry. I know this kind of show isn't supposed to impress anyone with dialogue or plot, and the main intention of these shows is to make lonely males jack off and watch precious advertisements in between strokes, but I don't see where even that's possible with the shitty-shit-shit content of the show. If I'm looking for jiggly TV, I'll stick with the previously mentioned Baywatch, V.I.P., Xena, or one of television's many other "visually pleasing" shows. At least they try to make themselves look legitemate.

2006 Reflections: When I copied and pasted all these Random Shit pages back into the website, one thing I noticed was that the bulk of the older entries were so goddamn stupid and bad that I couldn't justify bringing them back. (A few prime examples could be the pages with nothing but lists of bands with cuss words in their names and all the crap I had won on Ebay.) This one's not particularly stupid or bad, (Did you ever see that show? Christ.) but I'm pretty sure the only reason I brought it back was because it was the very first one. So yeah.