January 26, 2001: I Don't Wanna Be a Peace Punk

This rant "originally" appears in Paranoize number 15, which isn't out yet, making this page exclusive and True.™

After like forty issues worth of "got anything for the next issue yet?", "no, but I'm working on it," conversations, I finally managed to get something done. Fear me. Anyway...
The scene here in the Mississippi Delta is a little different from what they have in "NOLA," or "N'awlins," or "that place where the Saints play ," or whatever cool name they have that place down there now. There's no real metal or hardcore scene in here, (I think the shelf with my Sacred Reich collection on it is the only metal scene here, and I know one guy in a hardcore band... a band in Memphis...) and instead, "the scene" has seemed to focus on whatever the current big thing is on the lighter side of punk rock at the time. First it was pop punk and ska, and now, as the original 15 year olds are nearing 20, it's more in the emo / indy rock thing. Personally, I barely tolerate indie rock and for some reason, despise emo. I dunno, it's just not my thing. But I guess I can't complain. I never bothered to be part of the scene here, and I guess it would be dumb to expect to find many Exhorder fans in a place where Greenday is too brutal for radio play and Metallica still "rocks, dude." Anyway, it's not really my scene, and if it changes into something I don't like, I'm not the one to talk... However...
Something scares me about the whole emo / indy thing, and that's the nasty side effect that usually comes with it: Political correctness. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not some rebel flag waving Buchanan voter who thinks Hitler was super keen. Hell, by some standards, I'm pretty liberal. But PC hippies just fucking scare me. It's nice to care about the feelings of others around you, yeah. And it's nice to hold yourself up to such high moral standards. But not everyone can live up to those same standards, and it's no use (and just fucking annoying) to try and make them do so. (time to rant) I don't like having every single word I say scrutinized, and I'm not going to watch what I say to avoid pissing someone off. I want to be able to say "dude, that's gay," without being called a homophobe or a Nazi. I'm not saying, "dude, that is homosexual and must be destroyed, because God says gay is bad." It's an innocent fucking comment, and the thought of gay people never enters my mind. I enjoy eating meat. Lots of it. Huge, juicy cuts of beef and pork, and I don't give two-thirds of a a damn about what went through the cow's mind before the bolt came down. If eating other animals is wrong, what the hell are all those carnivorous animals doing? And for the record, veal is mighty goddamn tasty. I enjoy violent movies, television, video games, etc., and I like to watch tapes of Japanese wrestling where Mr. Pogo drills into Shoji Nakamaki's skull with an honest to God power drill, then tosses his bleeding ass on exploding, electrified barbed wire. And I'm the least violent person I know. Our parents' generation had nothing but violent toys and people shooting each other on TV, and how many of them shot up their schools? The world ain't gonna end if someone watches a Redskins game or buys novelty dog vomit made in a two cent an hour sweatshop in some godforsaken place like Korea or Arkansas. I've said it before: Lighten the fuck up. Your life will be a lot less stressful, and the massive coronary / brain tumor you're headed for just might be averted. Eat a non-tofu hot dog. Or eat a tofu hot dog and pretend. On your next trip to the record store, pass up that "Benefit for the Eastern Washington County Coalition to Suppress the Defamation of Albanian Yak Gelders" compilation 7 inch, and go buy "U.S.A. for M.O.D." Watch some hardcore porn, and instead of bitching about some woman being exploited, PLAY WITH YOURSELF. It'll be hard at first, (no pun intended) but eventually, you'll be glad you did.