February 10, 2001: The XFL

It seems to be something everybody's talking about, and as a major wrestling and football nerd, you knew that sooner or later, I'd have to put in my two cents on Vince McMahon's latest venture, the XFL. The gimmicky new football league has been the source of a lot of excitement, hype, criticism, and ridicule, and since I like nitpicking things to death, I just had to make this page. First a look at the positives:

The Football: After all is said and done, this is the most important part of the game, (duh) and the XFL delivers. Granted, there aren't many NFL-caliber guys, as is the case with most "other" football leagues, but there aren't many in college football, and you people watch it, right? The "smash mouth football" hype was a bit of an exaggeration, but the XFL delivers quality football that's pretty much just as interesting as anything the NFL or college football gives you.

Seeing Old Faces. The XFL has given a second chance at the big time for many old NFL guys, a lot of whom were borderline stars at some point or another, and not just practice-squad pine-riders, like the World League or Arena Football has. So there is some element of name-recognition. Also, being the first non-NFL league to receive any kind of national attention has enticed many guys who didn't think they would be playing again to come back for another try. Former NFL first round draft picks, like John Avery and former Heisman Trophy winner and thousand yard rusher Rashaan Salaam are just a couple of the recognizable names in the league. The thing I never liked about most other spring leagues was the "who the hell are these guys?" factor. It's not there in the XFL.

Players paid to win. XFL players don't make a lot of money compared to most professional sports. Hell, they don't make much more than the average guy out there. But, there is one extra factor here: They get paid more to win. These guys aren't millionaires, and that extra 2500 bucks means a lot to them. So you won't see bullshit like Deion Sanders letting a guy run right by, rather than trying to tackle him, or Ricky Watters simply letting a pass fly by him to avoid taking a hit. The XFL players can't afford to take it easy out there.

More personal freedom: The XFL allows its players to show emotion. A touchdown celebration or throwing a ball into the crowd won't result in penalties or fines, like in the NFL. Also, there's more freedom with uniforms. Shirt tails don't have to be tucked in, and there are no fines for having your socks at a different length than other players. (the NFL actually fines for that. No shit.) Also, there's the extra addition of the players being able to choose what goes on the backs of their jerseys.

heh

How can you not think that's just awesome?

Of course, I always have to criticize things, so now, it's time to see some negative aspects of the league:

Remember: This is FOOTBALL, not WRESTLING. Apparently, they've forgotten this, as they've gone so far as to give characters to some of the players, much like gimmicks for professional wrestlers. Like former Washington Redskin Jamal Duff, (pictured above on the left) given the name "Deathblow" (Seinfeld reference?) and never having his name mentioned without "the intimidator" or "intimidation" somewhere in the sentence. Not to mention the cheesy wrestler-like promo he cut earlier in the game I'm watching right now, which included the line, "they call me Deathblow, because I like to take guys out and break necks!" spoken in an unnaturally deep, wrestler-like voice. Now is that really necessary?

Yeah, Cheerleaders. Whatever. I'm secure enough in my heterosexuality to say that way too damn much attention is given to the XFL cheerleaders. If I want to see former strippers in seductive poses, I've got the internet, and on the internet, they'll actually be NAKED. It's just not that big a deal. Also, the commercial tag line of "don't worry, we'll teach them how to cheer," is apparently false, as the mostly just kind of walk around doing stripper poses in a really unorganized manner. If you want to see sleazy T&A cheerleading done right, rent the movie BASEketball. If the XFL executives would watch that film, it could straighten out a lot of cheerleading problems. Hell, even the Nitro Girls had choreography. Also, once again... This is FOOTBALL, not wrestling. In wrestling, it's okay, but in football, it's an unnecessary distraction that just adds fuel to the fire of the league being perceived as a joke.

"All Access" I played high school football for four years, and I could have told them that the halftime camera wouldn't be any good. In movies, the coach gathers the players around and gives them a big awe-inspiring speech. But movies aren't real. In real life, it's just players sitting around resting, and the coaches going over strategy in a language that most people don't understand. Do you know what "trips right, fifteen charlie X post" means? Didn't think so. It's all a moot point though, as the halftime microphone always seemed to be turned off... Also, there are just a lot of situations where the people watching at home just don't need to see that shit. An eight year old kid doesn't need to see the coach cussing a player out, with the guy who works the bleeper apparently asleep on the job. When Octavius Bishop broke his leg, we didn't need a camera in his face as he screamed in pain while the trainers worked on him. It made me sick as Chicago Enforcers linebacker (and former Steeler) Rico Mack had to jump in front of the camera, yelling "they don't need to see this!" at the camera man. It's one thing to mic the players and put a camera in the huddle, but giving an "All Access" look at an injured player is just shameful.

It's got more than it's fair share of problems, but overall, I'd have to say that I like the XFL. The league is only two games old, so everything obviously won't be running right for a while. What problems do exist seem to be improving, albeit slowly. It's got a lot working against it, being a non-NFL league (anyone remember the USFL?) as well as a McMahon side project, (anyone remember the WBF?) but I think this one might have a serious shot at lasting more than a few years, if some of the sleaze and pro wrestling elements are eliminated. As I'm finishing this up, the game that's on TV right now is heading into overtime, after a second half comeback by Chicago. That makes for some good football-watching..