April 19, 2001: My Name

My name is Beren Lucas Brocato.

My first name is Beren.

Not Byron.

Not Bernie.

Not Brian.

Not Bern.

...And it is pronounced like "barren" or "Baron."

...Not like "buh-renn"

My middle name is Lucas.

Not Lucious.

Not Lucy.

My last name is Brocato.

Not Barto.

Not Bronkas.

Not Ricardo.

Not Brocktoe.

I hope this clears things up, you bastards.