May 1, 2001: Fun

If you're easily amused like me, today's installment of Random Shit is for you. First, you'll need one of these:

It's a plastic clip, the kind that can be found on packages of hot dog buns and other bread related products. It seems an odd suggestion that amusement could come from something so insignificant, but it really can. Trust me. Would I lie to you?

First, go out, and buy some hamburger buns or heat 'n serve dinner rolls, to get one of these clips. If you can, get a large one. Those work best.

Got one? Good.

Now, break off the end one side of it, so it kind of has a hook-like structure on one side and a stump where one used to be on the other. I would have gotten a better picture, but I needed a free hand to work the camera.

Now, hook the clip on the end of your middle finger, with the hook side digging into your finger, just under the fingernail. It will cause discomfort, but the end result is worth it.

Then, using your thumb, you can flick the clip at truly ridiculous speeds! Fun!

WARNING: Do not aim the projectile at humans or animals. It might look like a harmless piece of plastic, but it's kind of sharp and can go really fast. (Unless you screwed up somewhere, you tard.)

It might seem like a fun thing to do, but getting hit by one of these hurts like hell, and you could put out an eye or cause other bodily harm. Also, you could break shit made out of glass or cheap wood. The use of plastic fastener clip projectile thingies as a weapon is not authorized by the National Off Road Toad Association.