November 26, 2002: Help a Brutha Out

Something just occured to me. In April (I think it's April, at least) it's going to be time to cut another big ol' check to the folks at ChamberGates to pay for web hosting and shit. If I don't pay, Web Surf Nicaragua goes *poof.* Also, considering that my student loans kick back in this January, and at that point, I won't be able to afford extravagant items like food, this won't be an easy task. Once again, I'm learning what nearly every instant-zillionaire of the 1990's learned, which is that the internet ain't free, and if people won't pay for your shit, you go under. And I'll be damned if I have to take this thing back to Tripod. It's like if you date a supermodel, after she dumps you, you just won't be content with the more humble-looking chick down at the local Dairy Queen. You just can't go back. So it has become apparent that I must find a way to make some money off this bitch, or it'll be gone in about 5 months. So here are my options:

Advertisements: I don't like this option, but not for an "ooh, advertisements are capitalistic and evil," reason, because, fuck, I'M capitalistic and evil. The first reason I don't like this option is because it fucks with the design. The second reason is because they're annoying. (See 1wrestling.com) The third reason is because you can't control what ads get shown. (See every black metal site that's had to advertise Slipknot and Linkin Park albums) And finally: YOU CAN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING MONEY OFF OF THEM. Who clicks banner ads? No one. Advertisements would mean fucking up my design, advertising for Christina Aguilera, and not making a goddamn dime. No way.

A "Members Only" Section: Two reasons this won't happen: One, because I have no content that would be worthy of being paid for, and my server doesn't allow that kind of stuff, anyway. Two, because I wouldn't know how to program stuff like that. This won't work, either.

Begging for Donations: This won't get me a goddamn dime, but I already got a PayPal account, and this won't cost anything to put up, so I'll probably do it anyway, just in case.

Merchandise: This seems to be my only real option, so unless someone can come up with something better, I'm running with this idea. Here are my options:

Cafepress: I started up a Cafepress market-thingy, but when I found out that they wouldn't let you use altered photos or pictures of famous people, it pretty much ruined that before it got started. I still got a couple ideas that could workthough, so that might see the light of day before too long. Basically, you'll be able to get T-shirts and coffe mugs with whatever shit I can think up that doesn't violate the terms of service. I got at least one thought up, but I won't say it, because you'll steal my ideas, fucker.

Compilation CDs: Well, I got the burner and blank discs are cheap, so this wouldn't cost me much to do. Thing is, anyone with a brain and a fast connection could just download the shit. Fuck, I dunno. I do have some ideas that could sell, though, like a shitload of Metallica demos, or something. I'll probably just make comp CDs a "free gift" for people who send donations, as a way of tricking them into not noticing that they've really just paid 5 bucks for a cheaply-made CD.

Compilation Rasslin' Videos: Of all the ideas, this will be hardest to do, but will probably generate more revenue than anything else. The cost to me would be something like 5 bucks each, but the profit could be as high as 15 bucks, so it's a good deal. I've already got a few ideas I've been working on, ranging from "An Introduction to Rasslin' Nerdery for the Non-Nerd" to "Spinaroony Presents Blood-Soaked Hatred." I don't have the collections that some people have, but I'm sure I could put together at least one tape someone would buy.

As always, if you have any suggestions to make me some cash, either head for the message board or drop me a line at capitalist-pig @ websurfnicaragua.com. (Yeah, that one's not a clickable link, either.) Wish me luck.

2006 Reflections: If I remember correctly, I managed to pay the website bill when someone sent me ten bucks over PayPal, and I'm too much of a lazy prick to back and see who it was, so I can mention it here. In the end, I think I accumulated a grand total of fifteen bucks off random donations and CD-Rs of the site as it was before I deleted everything like a dumbass. Big time. As it stands right now, I signed up for a Spreadshirt account to try and squeeze a few sheckels out of this site, but I haven't really done enough with it to justify linking it to the site, and like the CafePress account I still have somewhere, I probably never will. I'm such a skilled fundraiser. Also, stop asking for site CDs. That was meant to be like a one-time deal, and hopefully, most of the old stuff will be back up by the time I finish copying and pasting all these damn files, anyway.