Note: This is inspired by a true story.

DENIAL:

"Oh hell no, I know I didn't just get bit. Must have been a stray safety pin or something."

ACCEPTANCE:

"Oh snap, I DID get bit by something! Stupid spiders."

HOPE:

"Man, I hope it wasn't a brown recluse."

SHOCK:

"No way, it was a SCORPION!"

ANGER:

"Screw you, scorpion! Eat my shit! Fuck you, scorpion!" *stomp, stomp, stomp*

REALIZATION:

"Wait a second... Scorpions... Are poisonous!"

PANIC:

"Oh shit! Oh FUCK!"

HUGE PANIC:

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!"

RESEARCH:

"Huh. Says here that it's only the yellowish-looking ones that'll kill me."

BARGAINING:

"Please God, let this dead-ass scorpion not be yellowish, and I'll stop all that blasphemy I've been doing."

RELIEF:

"Oh man, it's kinda red. That means I'm cool."

THE DOUBLECROSS:

"Ha ha ha, the fucker must have bought that thing about no more blasphemy. Stupid God."

DEPRESSION:

"But man, my ass-cheek is still hella-stung."

BEMUSEMENT:

"Huh. Stung by a scorpion. In this day and age."

ACCEPTANCE:

"Eh, but what can you do."